1. Books are sacred in our house
2. We're still on financial lockdown. One of the reasons we use the library so much is so that we always have lots of new books that are FREE, something I would never take for granted. Replacing these books is NOT going to be free.
3. One of the books was an Ezra Jack Keats book
4. Her crime was a combination of mistreating books and being a blind follower, which we discussed but which is a hard thing to get across to a 3-year-old.
So what do you do as punishment? Parenting books are always saying the punishment needs to fit the crime. In that case, I should probably take away her books or refuse to read to her for a week so she can appreciate the value of a book. But taking away books is like taking away breathing. Plus, I don't want her to go a week without me reading to her. Which leads me right back to television, which is something I don't want her watching anyway. She also loses her bedtime book choices for a week. I told her I would read to her brother and that she could join us and listen, but that since he respected the books in our house this week, he gets to chose which books we read. She will also have to pay one dollar the next time she comes into money from someone (a grandparent, an aunt, etc.) to help pay us back. (This one is tricky; she doesn't get an allowance so we can't take that, and the next time she gets money from someone is likely to be August, which is pretty far removed from the actual crime.)
I also took her to the library last night and had her apologize to the librarians. I tried to point out that this wasn't part of the punishment; when you do something wrong, you apologize for it. End of story. I called the children's librarians first and I told them we were coming in advance.
I'm still not completely satisfied with the punishment. But I am satisfied that it's something she won't do again.
4 comments:
"Punishment" for a three year old really doesn't work. I think you are on the right track... My approach with my son was that when we make a mistake, we have to make it right. We apologize and we find a way to make it right. And then - we - the parents, let it go. Look - bottom line... she made a mistake (are you even sure she did it? You said she was with a friend)She didn't TRY to do something naughty. It was a bad decision. Point it out to her, help her make it right and then move on.
Next time she has a book and is handling it properly remind her what a good girl she is, and thank her for being so respectful of books.
Books are special in our house too - ds pulled a board book apart when he was two. I had him help me tape it up, explained that that is not the right way to handle a book - we must be gentle and careful - books are our friends yada yada yada - never had a problem with him again.
I think you've made your point with her... she is only 3.
I like that approach a lot! (I should go add to my new year's resolution list: Letting things go. Not my strongest suit...)
Oh my. I wouldn't have known what to do, either; I think you handled it well. I just wonder what precipitated the whole thing. Maybe there was already a small tear in one of the books that got them started? Ack.
Sounds like you handled that one splendidly. I especially love the apology to the librarians part. So important.
You're a good mom. :)
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