puppy grows

We got an early start on the holiday season when we visited my dad in Columbia, S.C. and he bestowed upon my children their Chanukah presents. My daughter received a toy known as "Puppy Grows and Knows Your Name."

Where to begin?

Let's start with the name. Because they want children to be able to name their own puppies from one of their computer generated lists, they can't call it Rover or or Sir Wags or Guinevere or whatever else you'd name an animatronic poodle. Okay, I accept that. Allow at least a little room for a child's creativity. But how about something like My Little Puppy? My Furry Friend? Something a little more innovative than Puppy Grows and Knows Your Name? As is, it's setting a new precedent for toy naming. For instance: Globe on End of String that Goes to Floor and Comes Back Up Again. Small Human-Like Figures That Fit in Small House. Would the Frisbee have been as successful if we'd just called it a Flying Disc?

Which brings us to the next question: Do we want this product to be successful? My daughter's Puppy Grows and Knows Your Name has not yet been programmed because we want her to be able to share with her brother. I'm not sure Puppy Grows and Knows Your Name is able to serve multiple masters, which is bad news given that it costs anywhere from $40 to $75.

Then there's the voice, a woman's voice that says things like "You'll always be my special friend." Think Phyllis Diller working a 1-900-line.

My daughter, who has named her Puppy Grows and Knows Your Name "Pokey," loves this creature. We do not. She loves to feed her (bones, for which the dog responds with a great rhythmic slurping noise, followed by a burp.) We do not. She loves to measure her, to see how much she's grown. Puppy Grows and Knows Your Name can become a dog in a week. Fortunately, there's a reset switch, because little girls like the puppy stage best.

That's my rant for today. I'll let you know when Puppy Grows and Knows Your Name breaks. Or when my husband causes her to meet with an unfortunate accident.