virginia tech

I was going to spend today writing about Austin, Tx., The Broken Spoke, Willem Dafoe, Dazed and Confused and Maria's Taco Xpress. But I waited too long. I should have started writing the second I returned from my trip, a weekend away from the kids, a weekend spent holding a hand that was not sticky with chocolate. Because when I finally sat down at my computer, ready to write, I learned that my hometown of Blacksburg, Va. (unofficial slogan: Blacksburg, Va., An Easy Place to Live) had been ripped apart by a shooting I still can't process.
I check CNN whenever the kids are out of the room.
One dead.
Then seven.
Then 20.
Then 21.
I have the urge to jump in my car and drive home, to start stringing for my old newspaper. I feel impotent when I'm not reporting. And reporting my feelings doesn't count. And then I think: maybe silence is better. Maybe silence is really the only thing that can allow you to feel the enormity of something like this. Though it doesn't do jack to help you understand it.